_______________________________________________________________________________ 
/ FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #2                 \
| What to do...                                                                 |
|     if you get a phone call from Mars:                                        |
|         Speak slowly and be sure to enunciate your words properly.  Limit     |
|         your vocabulary to simple words.  Try to determine if you are         |
|         speaking to someone in a leadership capacity, or an ordinary citizen. |
|                                                                               |
|     if he, she or it doesn't speak English?                                   |
|         Hang up.  There's no sense in trying to learn Martian over the phone. |
|         If your Martian really had something important to say to you, he, she |
|         or it would have taken the trouble to learn the language before       |
|         calling.                                                              |
|                                                                               |
|     if you get a phone call from Jupiter?                                     |
|         Explain to your caller, politely but firmly, that being from Jupiter, |
|         he, she or it is not "life as we know it".  Try to terminate the      |
|         conversation as soon as possible.  It will not profit you, and the    |
\         charges may have been reversed.                                       /
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        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||


According to the Fact Sphere: "The situation you are in is very dangerous."


In the spirit of William Shakespeare: Thou art a beslubbering, idle-headed varlot.